Little Known Facts about me (Until Now)

To celebrate turning 50 on February 20, 2010, I thought I’d share some things about me.

10.  I once played a 165 holes of golf in one day for a fund raiser. Started in the dark. I had 9 birdies and averaged 89 for nine and half rounds of golf. Still pretty much my average.

9.  When I was 34 years old, I played in a basketball game against the Cambodian National Team and lit them up for 23 points. Even though we lost the game, they, the Cambodian National Team, was pointing at me after the game and yelling, “MVP. MVP.”  My best athletic performance to date. Maybe my last best athletic performance.

8.  When I was a young kid, I used to run into things a lot. One day after we had a convolescent service at the Gerantology Center in downtown Clarkston, I walked out the front door and started down the street and ran smack into a lamp post. It hurt so bad and now my wife knows why I always have that “I must be dumb because I can’t find my car keys, again,” look on my face. 

7.  I didn’t start drinking coffee until I was 30.   It all started when I was working at the Bellevue Fred Meyer and they put a Seattle’s Best Coffee kiosk in there and I finally got up enough nerve to ask if they made banana mochas. I’ve been hooked ever since. And yes I have a banana mocha every day. I make my own now.

6.  I am so afraid of falling that one time in 1991 during the Senior Breakaway for the seniors at Shoreline Community Church, at the indoor water park in the West Edmonton Mall, the guys decided I should go down the large slide. They carried me, kicking and screaming, all the way to the top and if it wasn’t for the “she saved my life from falling,” lifeguard who gave them all a mean snear and a loud command, “Put him down! Now!” that prevented me from actually going down the slide. To this day, I’ve never gone down one of those things.

5.  I am almost certain I still hold the “average yards per carry” record at Clarkston High School. I carried the football one time and gained 11 yards and a first down. It was a reverse to the wingback. I took the ball and went around the end and no one saw me until I had cleared the line, by then, only one guy stood between me and the endzone. Since I had very little game experience, I just tried to run over him. He tackled me and then 20 other guys jumped on top, or so it seemed. I never carried the ball again.  When you were 4 feet 11 inches tall and weighed a hefty 98 pounds, conventional wisdom said, “Quit now young man if you ever want to grow up and be a dad.” So I turned to managing football teams instead.

4.  I’ve never drank a beer.  Here’s why: When I was a kid I picked up a beer bottle to throw it and what came out landed on my shirt and stunk so bad, it made a lasting impression on me all my life. It helped that in 8th grade the science teacher showed us a picture of “This is your Brain.”  “This is your brain after a few beers.” Sealed the deal.

3.  I’ve been able to do a lot of traveling and I’ve been to about as many states in the U.S. as I’ve been to foreign countries.  About 16 each. I’ve been as far as Miami, Florida, in the States, and as far East as Singapore and Manila, Philippines.  But I’ve never been to South Dakota. 

2. I, like a lot of my friends have sang the National Anthem with Contemporary Christian singer, Natalie Grant. At a couple of Sonics games. Very proud of Natalie and her amazing singing career.

1. I always thought I would like to meet my wife in a strange, or exotic, or cool place. Meaning, not at church, or a camp, or at school, or work. I thought like maybe at a library, or on a vacation, or coffee shop, or just bumping into her.  Well I did meet my wife, Myleen, in a strange, exotic, and eventually cool place.  We met in Cambodia. Of all places.  She was teaching school to missionary children in the provinces. I was teaching English to medical students in Phnom Penh, the capital city of Cambodia. Real missionary dating. How cool is that?

Top Ten House Descriptions on My Paper Route

It was difficult to learn which houses I was to deliver newspapers to.  Maybe harder than you’d think.  I had four days of training by my sister-in-law whose route I took over. Her daughter would describe houses like,
“the royalty house,” because it had red carpet in the hallways.  Or “Maddie’s house,” because a golden retriever named Maddie was always out when they’d deliver there.  So now that I’ve been doing this paper route for over a month now, I have my own list. 

10.  “The Scary House.”  Because this house serves as a moderate “halfway house” for people trying to make a rebound in their lives. Scary because I think many of them have a long way to go before they  “rebound.” I’ve encounter a few drunk people on the steps. It’s loaded with cats that slink or run in the dark. There is even a gray cat that sits inside a window and tries to jump up the sides of the ledges surrounding the window.  I’ve encounter people coming and going at all times during the wee hours of the morning and its mostly dark when I go there to deliver two papers. 

9.  “The Hospital.” Yep, every day I go to the hospital to deliver A paper.  As in one paper.  Its the hospital I was born in so that makes it kind of cool. 

8.  “The Asian House.” My wife and I call it that because we see Asian artifacts and Asian language symbols around the home. We have no idea if the owners really are Asian but we call it “The Asian House,” anyway. 

7. “The Flat Paper House.” This house only wants their paper flat. Not folded and not rolled up.  Its the only house on my route that demands it gets the newspaper lying flat at their doorstep.

6.  “Invisible Dog” house.  This house has a “beware of dog” sign at its front gate. But there is absolutely no dog around. Ever.  The first time I delivered there I didn’t know that so I was cautious about opening the gate and so cautious I closed the gate behind me as I entered. Had there actually been a dog, I would have been in serious trouble. One thing this invisible dog house does have is an occasional visit by the hissing cat.  Pretty funny stuff when I see it. It arches its back and I guess it seems to think that by chance I might actually get scared and run off. Maybe that is what happened to the dog.

5. “The Rich Guy’s House.”  We only call it this because it’s huge and it has a cool pool in the back yard with a French and Hispanic twist to the grounds surrounding the pool.  Plus the fact that the guy has all the toys. A huge RV, a really cool golf cart that is street legal with headlights and tailights.  I’ve met him on occasion when he’s come out to get his newspaper. 

4.  “The Inside Barking Dog” house.  No matter what I do, this dog hears me and starts barking. I am glad he is inside. I’ve met him and his owner once and he is a very active dog. Struggled with the owner to get a piece of me.  Cracks me up when I get off the porch and heading across the street and he will start barking.

3.  “The house with a gate but no fence.”  Interesting that someone would have a gate to open and not have a fence attached to the gate. I’ve started to just step around the gate and deliver the paper. The cool thing about this house is it looks like a castle and has an awesome view of downtown Lewiston, the Clearwater River, and the hills surrounding the valley.

2.  “The Chanandler Bing” house. If you’ve never seen the episode of “Friends” where Rachel and Monica are playing a game with Chandler and Joey and the question is asked of the girls, “What is Chandler’s last name?,” then this comment won’t mean much to you.  The girl’s answer, “Chanandler Bing.”  Chandler say’s, “Chanandler?” And of course the girls give themselves away because they’ve been stealing his magazine that has inadvertently misspelled his name.  I share this because I deliver to a house that I have to put the newspaer in a mailslot in the side of the house that simply say’s, “Chandler.” 

1.  “The orchestra and old muscials” house. Most every day when I approach this house, I hear either orchestra music playing inside or they are up watching one of the old musicals like “Dancing in the Rain.” 

Hope you enjoyed the read.

Charlie’s Top Ten

You’ve heard the statement, “Oh, for crying out loud.”  Yes? No?  I’ve heard it many times. “Oh, for crying out loud!”

Here are ten of my reasons for really crying out loud.

10.  You find a hair in your soup. “Oh, for crying out loud!”

 9.  Getting stung by a bee.

 8.  When your favorite team loses because the officiating was so bad. (feeling cheated)

 7.  When the New Yankees or New England Patriots win, yet another, world championship. (favoritism or when others succeed and you don’t)

 6.  When your dorm mate’s alarm goes off and he or she keeps sleeping but you are now wide awake.

 5.  Getting unsolicited advice from just about everyone. (you don’t know what to do with your life, but everyone else sure seems to know what you should do)

 4.  When your professor’s say’s, “Pop Quiz time!” and you are totally unprepared. 

 3.  Getting a flat tire. 

 2.  When my wife leaves the toilet seat down and I have to use the bathroom in the middle of the night. 

 1.  When the neighbor’s rooster wakes you up at 4:00 in the morning. (not today, as I am awake even before the roosters crow but in my heyday in Cambodia? yep, that was a problem. “Oh for crying out loud, its not even light outside!”