Newspaper Boy No More

I have finally decided to give up my dream of being a paperboy.  The dream lasted a good seven months and after trudging through two separate neighborhoods delivering the news, I am finally calling it quits. Maybe it was the encounters with skunks, bats, cats, dogs, deer, and raccoons that finally put me over the top. Or maybe it was delivering the news in seven degree weather, snow, windblown snowy mornings, pouring down rain, freeze-your-finger off times that  made me want to stop, or maybe it was the getting up at 3:45 AM! every morning that made me want to quit. Or maybe it was a combination of it all. At any rate, the Tribune has found someone to replace me.  I have to train this someone for three days and then it is sleep-in bliss. 

The only down side and I learned this recently, was when I told my son that I was quitting, his reply was, “Why?, Now we won’t hear any more of your stories.”  Those stories would be my encounters with skunks, bats, cats, dogs, deer and raccoons as well as strange people walking at FOUR IN THE MORNING!!!

Will I miss being a paperboy?  Oh only for the moments of exercise for one hour. The hour it took to deliver 80 newspapers during the week and the 88 newspapers I delivered on Sundays.  I won’t miss seeing the alarm clock saying, “3:45 a.m.”  I mean, for crying out loud, I have a college education.  Delivering newspapers has been quite a humbling experience, let me tell you!  If your one of my avid readers and will miss my newspaper delivery stories, well I am sure I will stumble upon some other fancy whereas I can report my insights on. 

For now though, its time to start thinking about retiring from being a newspaper boy. Ahhhhhh! And please no one feel tempted to call me at say 3:45 a.m.